}); relaxed and healthy: Dating after a divorce

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Dating after a divorce

Dating after a divorce can be very challenging to even the most confident person.  However, being divorce isn’t a sentence to a lifetime of being single.  Even though dating after divorce can be a nightmare is doesn’t have to be; it can be a rewarding experience and also life changing.  Here are few tip for the divorcees that are

Be ready – I know how difficult it can be to all of a sudden find yourself alone and your gut reaction maybe to find a new mate.  However, it is beast to wait until you are ready before entering the dating scene.  If you are truly serious about finding love again make sure you heal; find out what went wrong in your marriage; what role you played in the demise.  Once you have those questions answered you are ready for and will be able to recognize a healthy relationship.

Be honest- Every day you hear the statistic that fifty percent of marriages ends in divorce, therefore it is no longer a deal-breaker. Be honest about your status and you will find that your date will be more empathic than you expected.  While hearing you dirty laundry on the first date is not good; but be honest with you date because almost everyone has experienced some kind of heartache.

Be patient- Dating isn’t a race, so be patient with yourself and your date.  Being back on the dating sphere after a divorce is quite challenging; you will find yourself being fearful, even doing and saying the wrong thing.  Be patient because not every date will lead to a long-term relationship.

Stay positive- be open- Staying positive will leave you open to new possibilities.  Your new partner may be very different from your old, because you have change or what you need in a partner may have change. Therefore, before each date remind yourself of your great qualities, and stay positive in order to embrace the adventure. 

Love yourself- be true to yourself- The period after a divorce is a very vulnerable period. So, take some time to access the changes in your life making sure you get reacquaint with you.  Focusing on yourself will help you bring your best self to a date and eventually a relationship.  Loving who you are and being true to yourself will attract the right person to you.

Have a must have and a must not have list- Take time to create a list of your “must haves” and “must not haves”.  You may find that both list compliments each other and is done simultaneously.  Your must have list may have aspects of Ex, but be careful you aren’t trying to find a new him.  When creating this list use your rational and try to avoid subconscious triggers.   Your “must not have” list can be vague, concrete or even ambiguous.  These list are important but should be set in stone, because they are just starting points.

Remember this is a time for new discovery and adventures.  Learn from your previous mistakes as you begin your dating after divorce journey. 

Happy Dating

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